February 2024

Are you with me?

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AmericanGirl
Posts: 267
Joined: Sat Nov 18, 2023 10:31 am

Re: February 2024

Steph, on the note of testing, we are going to ask the care doctor about doing a PGT-A on our remaining 2 embryos. It’s chromosomal testing and it’s expensive but it will show us whether they’re healthy or not, cause chromosomal abnormality can be a cause of miscarriage.

I had loads of blood work including an FBC done before referral for IVf. All they found was slightly low oestrogen but said it doesn’t explain all that’s going on for me. That was over a year ago, but I doubt anything’s worse with the treatments.

Good luck today Steph!

Cat, I hope your night wasn’t too bad and we’re here if you want to talk!
Sarah12
Posts: 59
Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2023 8:32 am

Re: February 2024

Hope you are all okay and I hope you get some more clarity at your appointments today Rachel and Steph!

Following on from what Steph said about the testing, I asked for full bloods to be tested a few weeks ago just to make sure my levels were correct and I was taking the right vitamins. My doctor wasn’t immediately concerned with the results but have asked for me to do a repeat in a months time. I sent the results to Care and they rang on Tuesday to confirm my Vit D levels were lower than they would like and my Thyroid (TSH level) was much higher than they needed it to be for treatment. They need it below 2.5 in order to continue with treatment so they have prescribed medication and want me to retest in four weeks time to see if we can begin treatment. I did some reading and higher TSH levels can actually cause implantation to fail and potentially cause miscarriages as can low Vit D levels. I am confused as to why Care do not test for these levels before treatment as if my levels were not where they needed them to be, then I could’ve been on the right medication before the cycle. Just frustrating to find out now but at least something can be done before next time!

I’ve also been doing some reading around miscarriages and what could potentially prevent future miscarriages and baby aspirin seems to pop up a lot as does prednisolone so these may be worth bringing up to your consultants. Care seem to only investigate properly after you’ve miscarried a few times which is what the consultant told me when I asked if there was anything more we could do.

Sorry if that’s a lot of information, just want to do as much reading as possible to ask the right questions and make sure we’re all in the best positions for our future cycles xxx
Cherrie87
Posts: 151
Joined: Mon Apr 05, 2021 4:34 pm

Re: February 2024

We paid alot of money for testing as I'd already had 9 miscarriages (natural conception) and 3 ectopics before we went for IVF.

My last ectopic we were going to treat with methotrexate as I'd had the previously for another ectopic but as we were already looking into IVF the Dr's said it might better if my remaining tube was removed.

My results found I had high levels of NK cells so I had prednisolone steroids and intralip IV's to suppress my immune system.
I have sticky blood - so I had baby asprin during stimulation and then inhixa injections after collection.
My body also does not breakdown folic acid so had to have a folic acid that was already broken down so my body would absorb it.

I have debated doing the PGT-A testing on our remaining embryo but unsure if it will be just a waste of money... I think it's around £280 per embryo at our clinic.

My bleeding is still coming and going but it's definitely getting lighter as rhe days go on.

Good luck to you both Steph and Rachel today. I hope it all goes well for you.

It's good to hear from you both Cat and Sarah. I hope you are both doing okay! Xxxx
Stephlm
Posts: 175
Joined: Wed Nov 08, 2023 2:53 pm

Re: February 2024

Morning, just back from the hospital and my scan, nothing has changed since last week and no evidence of gestational sac/ baby releasing or any blood etc. I’m going back this afternoon for the meds and should start bleeding this afternoon/ through the night.
As much as I am dreading it, I know it needs to happen and the sooner, the better!
Cherrie, it sounds like you’ve had lots of tests done. I thought you could only do PGTA testing prior to the blastocyst developing and not once it has been frozen? I’ll ask the question at my next appointment.

Xxxx
AmericanGirl
Posts: 267
Joined: Sat Nov 18, 2023 10:31 am

Re: February 2024

I had my scan this morning and they said before the scan that if there was 20mm or less tissue remaining, they leave it to come out naturally, which could even be with the next period or could be in the next few days since I’m still bleeding.

There was only 9mm, so that’s far under the threshold, so I don’t need medicine. We just wait and they said to do a home pregnancy test in 2 weeks to confirm. So it’s just about as good news as it could have been.

Steph, I’m sorry you have to go down the medical route, but I’ll hope for you it’s quick and as painless as possible!

Thank you to everyone for sharing advice in what to ask the doctor, I’ll definitely ask those things at my next appointment. I have a whole list ready!

Sarah, when will you be able to try again?

Cat, are you trying again? Do you have your next appointment with the care doctor scheduled yet?

Seems all we can do is try to look forward now xx
Cherrie87
Posts: 151
Joined: Mon Apr 05, 2021 4:34 pm

Re: February 2024

Rachel, I'm so glad you're almost out the other side.
I bet you can't wait to start your next cycle.

Steph, are you staying in hospital while you do the medical management? I just did the misoprostol at home.

Hope it all goes well, will be thinking of you xxx
Stephlm
Posts: 175
Joined: Wed Nov 08, 2023 2:53 pm

Re: February 2024

They gave me the meds in hospital at 2:30 and sent me home with an emergency phone number and told me if I struggle with the pain or lose too much blood to ring and for Mark to take me to the emergency gyni/ mat ward.

So far I’ve just had some cramping and still no bleeding.

Xxx
Cherrie87
Posts: 151
Joined: Mon Apr 05, 2021 4:34 pm

Re: February 2024

Hopefully it will come soon, usually the pains become more intense and that's when you cervix is contracting.
I'm praying it goes smoothly for you ❤️ ❤️
AmericanGirl
Posts: 267
Joined: Sat Nov 18, 2023 10:31 am

Re: February 2024

I had asked about staying in hospital for medical management before mine started naturally, and they said that would not be allowed as I was under 12 weeks, so Steph’s hospital may be the same. Hopefully you don’t need it and it’s an easy ride, Steph!
Stephlm
Posts: 175
Joined: Wed Nov 08, 2023 2:53 pm

Re: February 2024

Morning, well this is no fun. I still haven’t passed the baby and I wouldn’t say my bleeding is anything like what Cherrie experienced. I had some bad side effects to the meds about 4hrs after taking and had diarrhea, fever, nausea and was literally lying on the bathroom floor shaking with cramps. I didn’t have any bleeding when I was having contractions/ cramps and my bleeding only really started quite late last night.
Xxx
cat13
Posts: 54
Joined: Mon Feb 19, 2024 11:31 pm

Re: February 2024

Hi Steph. Mine has taken time this time. I had my meds on Wednesday afternoon. Had really bad cramps when I was at home that evening and some fresh blood, but not much and not the tissue they were after. It died off yesterday, I had no cramping and was back to minimal rust coloured blood, then finally this morning I passed what I think, and hope, is the last of it, as awful as that sounds.
Hopefully it's not an awful experience for you, but hopefully it has started now and finishes soon so you can take the time you need to recover. How far along were you?

I have had to bring what I could back to the hospital as they say they're going to send it off for testing due to my recurrent miscarriages. Whether or not we'll get answers, who knows. I have my Care call later this morning too so hopefully can get some answers there and ask to do my next frozen embryo transfer ASAP. Not sure if they like to wait a certain time though?!

Cherrie - wow, that isn't that bad. I think when I looked the pgt-a testing here was about £1300 per embryo. Also considering having further tests for me and my boyfriend, although I had full bloods done before my treatment started. I'll ask the Dr today though.

Rachel - hopefully if there was only a small amount remaining yours won't be too traumatic either and everyone gets the dreaded but necessary negative test in a couple of weeks. Have you got your next call booked in did you say?

I've read about aspirin too. I was on Clexane and presumed it was similar as it's also a blood thinner, but perhaps not. I was also on Prednisolone, a higher dosage to my fresh transfer at the end of last year, because of my miscarriages. Pretty much going to ask the Dr to try everything this time, especially as this is my worst graded and last embryo from this cycle. We paid for multi cycle so have that if needs be, although I have low AMH that was dropping fast when checked last year, so worried about how successful a second collection will be, especially given it'll be so many months since the last one. It's all so tough. Trying to stay positive though!!

Big hugs and hope to everyone.
x
Stephlm
Posts: 175
Joined: Wed Nov 08, 2023 2:53 pm

Re: February 2024

Cat, that’s reassuring to know yours didn’t happen overnight. The nurse has asked me to go back in this afternoon for a second round of meds as they don’t think I’ve passed enough and to save waiting until Monday.

I should be 9 weeks today but until last night has no miscarriage symptoms. We know the baby made it to at least 6w1d, we lost them between then and 8weeks.

It’s my first miscarriage so there’s no testing available for us but my doctor has agreed to do a pile of blood tests because of the failed embryo transfer in Dec.

This whole process is a minefield isn’t it.

Xxx
AmericanGirl
Posts: 267
Joined: Sat Nov 18, 2023 10:31 am

Re: February 2024

Steph and Cat, sorry this has been such a bad experience for you both! Steph, have you taken more meds then? I hope today goes as smoothly as possible.

Cat, I have my next care appointment for 3 May. How many miscarriages have you had, if you don’t mind me asking? This is my first one, like Steph, so no testing on the tissue.

My bleeding had lessened yesterday into this morning, but it’s thicker again now so hopefully this is the end of it. My body definitely doesn’t think it’s pregnant anymore. I can tell mostly because my taste buds were so different when I was pregnant (craving eggs, and not so keen on peanut butter, avocado, or yogurt, all of which I usually love), but they’re back to normal now. I’m also not tired or nauseas at all anymore. Hopefully those are all good signs.

Also, the nurse at the EPU said well all be extra fertile for the next few months after our miscarriages, so that’s good news hopefully!
Cherrie87
Posts: 151
Joined: Mon Apr 05, 2021 4:34 pm

Re: February 2024

How are you doing Steph? It really is shit isn't it. This whole fetility thing drives me mad!!

I really am rooting for all you ladies, even though my journey has come to an end, I'm praying you all get your little bundles of joy!!!

We have a review with care on the 29th April, not quite sure what we will discuss though.

Rachel, I've not got any symptoms now either and I'm pretty sure if I test it will be negative. I still have a few left over so might do one tomorrow.

How are your husbands/boyfriends doing? Sometimes they really do get forgotten through all of this but they have lost too... sending them love also ❤️
AmericanGirl
Posts: 267
Joined: Sat Nov 18, 2023 10:31 am

Re: February 2024

Cherrie, my husband has his moments too, you are right that they don’t get the support we get because we’re the ones going through it physically, even though they’re going through it emotionally just as much. A couple days ago we had a go at each other about totally unrelated stuff, but when we talking through it, it was really all to do with our feelings about this stuff. He talked to one of his best friends yesterday and told him all about it for the first time and said he felt much better after that. I think that’s his only friend he will really open up to though. How is your partner doing with it all?
Cherrie87
Posts: 151
Joined: Mon Apr 05, 2021 4:34 pm

Re: February 2024

He's been struggling too, he's been an amazing dad to our son and just want him to have that with his own flesh and blood.
I'm gutted I can't give him that and quite often tell him to leave me (I don't want him to) I just want him to have everything he's ever wanted.. but he refuses, he says if he can't have it with me he doesn't want it.

We have long conversations about the future and most recently TTC or IVF have been a no no, he said he can't put me through it anymore and I agree. I've reached my limit.

They are bloody strong men that go through this struggle with us too.

It's really good that he has opened up about it to his friend, saying it out loud can really improve how you're feeling. Xxx
Stephlm
Posts: 175
Joined: Wed Nov 08, 2023 2:53 pm

Re: February 2024

Hi girls, I had another dose of meds this afternoon and we have now said goodbye to our little one. It’s been such a hard few days both physically and emotionally but I’m relieved that we are now over that part.
You are right, it’s so tough on the boys and Mark was mortified seeing what I was going through last night, I know he feels guilty that it’s my body that takes the toll and he also feels that if it wasn’t for him, we wouldn’t be needing IVF- I keep saying I only want his babies!
Cherrie, it must be especially hard for you after this miscarriage, knowing your journey has come to an end but you have given this journey so much and I can’t imagine how much of a toll it has taken on you both physically and mentally.
We have our appointment at Care on 2nd May, I think we’ll try naturally for 1-2 months and then go again with a frozen transfer. Thankfully Mark never stopped taking any of his vitamins/ supplements so we’re crossing everything!
They say after a storm comes a rainbow and I’m praying for rainbows for us all 🌈 xxx
Cherrie87
Posts: 151
Joined: Mon Apr 05, 2021 4:34 pm

Re: February 2024

Glad your feeling better now Steph and that you've finally passed the worst part.

Not sure if you all would like something to remember your little beans, but I found a small business that does memorial rings for miscarriages, it's called Little Santi.

I've just ordered one, it's a nice little token so I can always carry them with me.

Hope you all manage to a have a nice weekend. Xxxx
Sarah12
Posts: 59
Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2023 8:32 am

Re: February 2024

Glad you are all nearly through the worst ❤️

Rachel, we were hoping to go again in June but that is now dependant on my blood results in May as Care need the levels to be a certain number before they can go ahead so we will just have to see. We are trying naturally in the meantime and hoping for a miracle given my husbands numbers have shot up so technically we don’t have a ‘reason’ anymore. Do you have any frozen or will you be going for a fresh cycle?

That’s so lovely Cherrie, I have heard of that company before and thought that’s a lovely way to remember all the little beans! You can also get a baby loss certificate if you wanted something official to remember them by too https://www.gov.uk/government/news/baby ... ents-grief.

Sending lots of love xxx
Stephlm
Posts: 175
Joined: Wed Nov 08, 2023 2:53 pm

Re: February 2024

That’s a sweet idea, I was thinking of getting a bracelet or a necklace with little angel wings.
We named both of our little embryos, in December, we had Snowflake and now Blossom. Their names kind of followed the seasons but for us it really helped. Obviously we weren’t going to call them by those names once they were born but ever since their transfer days that’s what we referred to them as. Unfortunately our little snowflake didn’t stick and our Blossom never bloomed but they will forever be in our hearts.

Has anyone ever tried Zita West vitamins/ supplements? I’ve been using pregnacare but I need to buy some new conception ones.

Xxx
Cherrie87
Posts: 151
Joined: Mon Apr 05, 2021 4:34 pm

Re: February 2024

Martin got me a bracelet for Christmas with angel wings on, in memoriam of our little angels.

I've also got small angel wing ornaments dotted around the house, it nice because everything I look at them I think of our babies.

I've never used supplements for conception, I was using pregna care and also optibac for women.
cat13
Posts: 54
Joined: Mon Feb 19, 2024 11:31 pm

Re: February 2024

Steph - that's good that the Dr is doing more blood tests for you. Is that through your GP?
I love Blossom and Snowflake ♥️

Rachel - no I don't mind you asking, please ask anything. I've had 3 miscarriages now, each a year apart plus the failed fresh transfer in November/December. The first 2 miscarriages plus the time it took to conceive each and my age meant we went for testing, which showed my low amh and my boyfriend's below par sperm morphology, hence the ivf. (I always feel silly saying boyfriend because we've been together over 9 years and I'm 36 years old 😅, we're just not married).

I heard about being fertile after a miscarriage. I do feel with ivf all the waiting feels like wasted time when I've spent so much of the past few years actively trying to get pregnant each month. Fingers crossed it works out naturally for you Sarah, that would be so much less stress to deal with, physically and emotionally!! Did you say your husband was on something specific that helped with his numbers?
I actually asked the Dr yesterday if we would be supported by Care and the meds if we fell naturally and he said he personally wouldn't be against it, but "it would probably have to go to the board of directors", or something along those lines. Which I'm taking to mean they wouldn't. Shame, as I think I'd need the meds. Perhaps the GP would be able to help in some way though.

They actually did a pregnancy test on me on Wednesday and despite being an incomplete miscarriage, it was already negative. I think instead I just wait until my next period, although I'm still bleeding now. Minimally. Hoping the next month passes quickly.

Cherrie - do you think you will go for the review call, or too early to decide?

Rachel that's so nice that your husband opened up to his friend. I would love Stuart to do that. He got a bit emotional when we were away, but most of the time I think he tries to appear "strong" (in his eyes) for my sake and bottles it up. I'd rather he let it all out! I agree though Cherrie, they are bloody strong men to support us and go through it all too, without anyone really ever thinking of them or how they are coping.

That Little Santi website is so sweet, I've never seen anything like that before.
My mother in law mentioned the certificates. I might actually order those and keep them in my folders, I've kept everything from each of them - even the pregnancy tests, although the lines have faded on some of them.
I think I'm going to get a tattoo - a little bouquet of their birth flowers for their due date months. I've seen someone on Etsy that can put them together for you. Just hope it doesn't have to grow much bigger.

I've not tried conception specific supplements for a few years so can't really comment I'm afraid. I'm taking 8 different ones every day though - optibac is one of them, a Vitabiotics high strength vitamin D is another.

Sorry it's another long one, there was so much to catch up on! Hope you're all managing to enjoy your weekends and the sunshine.

x
AmericanGirl
Posts: 267
Joined: Sat Nov 18, 2023 10:31 am

Re: February 2024

Sarah, we have 2 more frozen embryos, but we might try naturally for 2-3 months anyway and possibly have them test those embryos in the meantime.

Steph, we named ours too - Munchkin. We’ll pick a different one next time around, I’m sure, so we can always remember Munchkin as an individual. I read that when you carry a baby, even if you don’t carry it to term, some of the baby’s cells stay in your body forever, which is really lovely. I just had a bit of a breakdown this morning when I was telling my husband that and saying how sad I am that we’ll never meet Munchkin.

Yesterday we were with all Matt’s family, most don’t know we were ever pregnant, and it was nice but every time babies or pregnancy came up in conversation it felt like a stab. As soon as we got home, I fell apart a bit. How is everyone else doing emotionally?
Stephlm
Posts: 175
Joined: Wed Nov 08, 2023 2:53 pm

Re: February 2024

I read that too Rachel and it made me smile, then cry!! I find myself welling up over the slightest thing and when I think of Blossom. I’m still bleeding quite heavily too and still getting some bad cramps so I feel like that’s making me extra sensitive/ irritable at the moment 😂

My brother came round this afternoon with his wife and their 4 month old, Jacob. Jacob was actually born on 6 Dec, the same day we had our first embryo transfer, which failed to implant. I feel like I’m really struggling with Jacob since we found out about the miscarriage, it’s the third time I’ve seen him since and I used to be the first to take him, give him snuggles and play with him and I realised today I haven’t held him once since we found out. I got quite upset after they left because it’s not Jacob’s fault and I don’t love him any less, I’m just struggling as I want it to be me and Mark sat on the sofa playing with our little one and it’s not and I feel like we’re even further away from that now 🙁

We have 3 frozen embryos but I think we’re going to try naturally for 2 months too and we’ll maybe do a frozen cycle after our holiday to Corfu, at the start of June. I have no idea on what a FET cycle is, the meds and the timings for it etc. I’ve done 2 fresh cycles now, if anyone has any experience then let me know 😂

Xxx
AmericanGirl
Posts: 267
Joined: Sat Nov 18, 2023 10:31 am

Re: February 2024

Steph, I feel the same way with our best friends’ baby Joel. He was born November 21, during our first TWW when we did not get a positive test. It’s really hard to be around him during or shortly following cycles, even though I love holding him and love his parents.

We had an FET this time. I was on estrogen tablets and progesterone pessaries from when my period started until the transfer, which I think was like 20 days. Then the day before the transfer they tested my progesterone and it was still too low, so they added progesterone injections. Happy to tell you more if you have any questions!
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