Aug 2019 - Between Cycles

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BethR1989
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Joined: Wed Aug 07, 2019 8:35 am

Aug 2019 - Between Cycles

#1 Post by BethR1989 » Fri Aug 09, 2019 7:17 pm

Hi, I'm totally new to all this but have been following some of the various posts on here and have noticed there doesnt seem to be any recent ones for people inbetween cycles so thought id start a new topic for anyone else out there in the same position. I'm 30 and my husband 56 with a vesectomy long before we met so have just had our 1st cycle of IVF with ICSI and SSR. Sadly for us it was a BFN this time tbh I wasn't expecting it to effect me as much as it has but have realised this really is an emotional rollercoaster! We are lucky as have 2 frozen blasts waiting so am hoping to have FET soon and trying to stay positive but due to clinic availabilty and us going on holiday, my review isn't until 3rd Sep so I'm feeling kind of lost and isolated atm. I'm sure I'm not the only one out there who is going through a similar situation right now and thought this may be a good place where we can offer each other some support? :)

Hangerl
Posts: 21
Joined: Sun Mar 17, 2019 12:45 am

Re: Aug 2019 - Between Cycles

#2 Post by Hangerl » Sun Aug 11, 2019 10:18 am

Good morning

I’m sorry to hear your cycle didn’t work but try and stay positive, you do have some frozen blasts. My name is Lisa (39) and my husband and I have been trying for our 2nd child for 10 years. 3 miscarriages later we have also just finished our first cycle of ICIS with DE. We had a BFP which resulted in MC at 7 weeks. I also feel isolated, and inpatient for the next cycle as we have 3 frozen blasts. I just had my review and with some changes to treatment plan ( steroids and blood thinning) we are good to go once we hit the 3 months wait. I know it’s hard but try and take one day at a time and go off and enjoy your holiday. Recharging your batteries can only be a positive thing but if your anything like me then you want to get going again.

Always hear to chat.
Lisa x

BethR1989
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Joined: Wed Aug 07, 2019 8:35 am

Re: Aug 2019 - Between Cycles

#3 Post by BethR1989 » Sun Aug 11, 2019 11:08 pm

Hi Lisa, I'm so very sorry to hear to that, I can't imagine how difficult that must be. This process can be so cruel 💔 I am pleased though to hear that you have 3 frozen blasts waiting, that good news. You say your trying for your second child, how old is your first child, son or daughter? I'm sorry to have to ask but I am pretty new to all this, what does DE mean? I know what you mean, once the cycles finished and you've stopped the meds and clinic visits you just feel so alone and out of it all of a sudden. Coming down off all those hormones certainly doesn't help either does it? How did you find all the injections etc.? Yes you are right I'm exactly the same as you, so impatient now to go for FET and start trying again, the waiting is so hard but it does make sense i guess as we have to recover physically and emotionally. Fingers crossed for you that the changes to your next treatment will help. The good thing now is they know a bit more about what happened and why and will be much more informed with your FET. I don't know much about FET but from what I've read and been told, it's nowhere near as intense as a fresh cycle so hopefully will be a little easier going for us and at least we won't have to go through all those the injections again. Defo going to try and recharge and enjoy the holiday. Do you have any plans to go away at all whilst your waiting? It's so comforting to feel we r not alone in this. Of all my friends and family I'm the only one to go through IVF so it's difficult to talk to them sometimes as they just don't fully understand how emotionally draining the process is. Same goes to you, always here if you need to talk :) xxx

Hangerl
Posts: 21
Joined: Sun Mar 17, 2019 12:45 am

Re: Aug 2019 - Between Cycles

#4 Post by Hangerl » Mon Aug 12, 2019 5:42 pm

Hi
Staying positive is the best thing we can do. My Son Rhys is 11 years old now and we’ve been trying for ten years for number 2. All my friends say that I should think myself lucky I have him and to stop bothering. I know how lucky I am but that doesn’t take away the desire. DE is donar egg as my eggs are no longer viable. I was on buseriln injections to shut down my system before the transfer of the donar egg could happen. The most stressful part was having to be in sync with the donar and another recipient (as we went for egg sharing) the actual injections themselves weren’t that bad what about you? Your right, I think FET will be easier next time and quicker. Do you have your next consultation booked? Once that happens you should be able to start again at the beginning of your cycle. I have to wait until beginning of September to start treatment because of the miscarriage and they insist on a 3 month wait. However because my cycles are usually 70 days I have been put on the pill to help regulate my cycle. Who would have thought putting IVF patient on the pill!

I know it’s hard, try not to worry you are young and I have everything crossed for you. Make sure you enjoy your holiday and I am always here to talk.

BethR1989
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Aug 07, 2019 8:35 am

Re: Aug 2019 - Between Cycles

#5 Post by BethR1989 » Tue Aug 13, 2019 6:57 pm

Yes absolutely agree. I'm feeling much more positive now then I was and definitely helps to be able to talk to someone going through the ivf process to. I completely understand the desire for a child whether it be first or second isn't something you can just switch off like that. I really admire your strength and determination. To be honest I think a lot of IVF success is down to perserverence and a little bit of luck. I went through my entire 20's adement I never wanted children and then all of sudden its like a switch just came on and I can't turn it off. My husband already has 2 children from a previous marriage but as you've probably gathered we have quite an age difference so his children r actually more around my own age lol I've never been pregnant b4 or even TTC until now. I've been with no one else other then him and due to the vesectomy pregnancy can't happen without help. So I really have no idea if I even can it's all completely unknown but other than mild PCOS they can't see any obvious issues so fingers crossed. Wow yes I can imagine getting everyone synced must have been a challenge! So for you an FET will defiantly be easier as you won't need to sync with anyone else next time. The actual injections as in doing them was fine but because I have mild PCOS I was high risk of OHSS and was on menophur and fyremadel and thoughout I was so bloated and ovaries were pretty sore and painful tbh so was glad when they brought my EC forward tbh i also had a gonasi trigger which made me quite nauseus 🤢. Yes it's booked for 3rd Sep so not long really and we go away last week in Aug so should fly by. Well from what i've read the general gist from people seems to be they want u 2 wait 3 bleeds between a fresh cycle to FET but I have seen the odd person have sooner so I'm guessing it depends on the clinic and the circumstances. Wow yes that does seem bizzare putting someone TTC on the pill! Go figure! So what month do they recon your FET will be? I have all my fingers and toes crossed for you too! Xxx ❤

Hangerl
Posts: 21
Joined: Sun Mar 17, 2019 12:45 am

Re: Aug 2019 - Between Cycles

#6 Post by Hangerl » Fri Aug 16, 2019 8:54 am

Hi

I’m glad you are feeling more positive. It’s amazing how quickly that desire for children can take over! It must be hard knowing that your husband already has children and of course it means you have to go private and not NHS! It sounds like you have very chance of fully pregnant and Sound like a Care dream patient. I hope next time goes better for you and not feeling as sick. Hopefully our bodies get use to the drugs we take. What clinic are you with? I’m at Manchester and think they are brilliant.

3rd September isn’t long to wait then you will be back on that treadmill. It’s good you have your holiday to help keep you occupied in something else. Are you going anywhere nice? I am currently sat looking out the window at the constant rain trying to decide whether to risk camping this weekend!

I’m currently in the first week of taking the pill and will
Come off it on 1st September and then start my FET in day one of my cycle. I’m not looking forward to the blood thinning injections as I was told they are more painful but needs must. I also go back to work that week ( I’m a primary school teacher) so it will be hectic at work. We were told that I can control when I start, so if I want to wait longer I could just stay on the pill. However, I have my 40th in October and if I leave it any later transfer or results will be around my birthday and I don’t want that as a memory, of bad news and it doesn’t take or it takes and have another miscarriage. Plus I’m inpatient and want to get started as soon as possible.

Keep me posted how you appointment goes. I will be thinking of you and have everything crossed for you.

Lisa xxx

BethR1989
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Joined: Wed Aug 07, 2019 8:35 am

Re: Aug 2019 - Between Cycles

#7 Post by BethR1989 » Mon Aug 19, 2019 8:54 pm

Hi

Yeah it does feel a bit unfair sometimes as even though I have no children myself because he does we don't qualify for NHS but then again with the vesectomy we wouldnt have qualified anyway and i do understand that as it was his decision to have that done tbf. So, unfortunately private is the only option for us which defo does add more pressure for it to work as we know we only have so much money/attempts and no free chances. We 're very lucky though as my mum has helped us tremendously and we simply cannot thank her enough, she's given us a chance that we otherwise wouldn't have had. But then again of course that adds onto the pressure for it to work lol were you lucky enough to have NHS funding or have you had to go private to?

We r at Birmingham (we live in Telford about 45mins away) they r fantastic! The consultant is amazing and the nurses r absolutely lovley i was pretty nervous about my EC as had never had a sedation or procedure b4 and they talked me through every step of the way and really helped calm my nerves. It really does help make this process so much more easier doesn't it when the staff r good.

Did you go camping in the end? I know it's so hard to plan anything atm with this weather one min it's sunny then next it's pouring down lol well next week we go to Cornwall with my mum and then after the consultation we have booked a break to York just the 2 of us and I cannot wait! 😁

Oh wow so tbf you havent got too much longer now it will soon come around! Ah yeah injections r never fun :( but like u say needs must. I hope they r not too bad for u. I found that it's all about getting the angle right. If the angles right it seems to go in much smoother and hurts less. Are you having to inject into ur stomach?

It's hard having to concentrate at work when all this is going on but tbh it will probably help keep you busy and take ur mind off things at least whilst ur there especially during the 2ww, I don't know about u but I was terrible googling every twinge and symptom! It drives u crazy! Next time im just going to try and ignore everything and keep super busy. How long have u been teaching? I can imagine it much be challenging at times but also very rewarding?

Ah I get that you don't wanna associate ur 40th with any bad news just in case i would feel the same. At least whatever the outcome u have something to plan and look forward to x u defo need to celebrate, have u got any plans for ur 40th?

Will do and keep me updated too, i am thinking of and have everything crossed for u xxx remember, stay positive, they know more now than they did b4 about u and ur body and hopefully the changes to ur treatment will make a big difference plus u have those 2 other frosties waiting too xxx ❤

Hangerl
Posts: 21
Joined: Sun Mar 17, 2019 12:45 am

Re: Aug 2019 - Between Cycles

#8 Post by Hangerl » Mon Sep 02, 2019 6:51 am

Hi

Sorry it’s been a while since I responded fed but I have been so busy preparing to go back to work and I know you had a holiday booked so didn’t want to disturb you. Did you have a good holiday? Yes thank you I did get away camping, later than expected but had a good muddy time!

Your appointment must be coming up soon, good luck and I hope all goes well. Back to work for me today boo boo!

Take care

Lisa x

Jasper1
Posts: 1541
Joined: Sat May 05, 2012 2:47 pm
Location: Northamptonshire

Re: Aug 2019 - Between Cycles

#9 Post by Jasper1 » Fri Sep 13, 2019 1:12 pm

Hi ladies

I wondered if I could join you please?

I have an amazing little girl who’s 2 and was born after 7 years and 7 rounds of ivf! I’m desperate for number 2 and I have had two more tires since she was born but both failed. I’m now technically inbetween cycles but only because we sadly can not afford any more for now.

Just looking for some support and ideas for coping with the waiting limbo land.
Xx
Ivf one march 2013 BFN
Ivf two July 2013 BFN
Ivf three Sept 2014 all destroyed
Ivf four Oct 2015 BFP...CP
Ivf five April 2016 BFN
Ivf six Aug 2016 off to Czech! BFN
Ivf seven Dec 2016 BFP!!! Miracles happen!

Hangerl
Posts: 21
Joined: Sun Mar 17, 2019 12:45 am

Re: Aug 2019 - Between Cycles

#10 Post by Hangerl » Sat Sep 14, 2019 11:19 am

Hi

Welcome Jasper1

I know how that feels it took us 4 years to save enough money to try for child number 2 (son is now 11). We found it hard saving, we would finally get somewhere and then husband would be made redundant or car would need replacing etc...

The best advice I can give is focus on your daughter, enjoy every minute until you have enough money to go again. I know it’s hard and some days will be easier than others. Have you looked into the access plans where you can get money back if your unsuccessful, that’s what we did and if we are unsuccessful we will put the money towards another cycle.

Take care
Lisa x

Jasper1
Posts: 1541
Joined: Sat May 05, 2012 2:47 pm
Location: Northamptonshire

Re: Aug 2019 - Between Cycles

#11 Post by Jasper1 » Sat Sep 14, 2019 2:08 pm

Hi

Thanks for for your lovely message.

My daughter was made in the Czech Republic! We had a few cycles at Care but left when the cost became too much. I’ve not heard of the access scheme. What is that??

My best friend came round today. Her little boy is five months older than my little girl and they get on so well which is lovely. My friend is pregnant with twins due any day. Her kids are all ivf too. I’m so happy for her but finding it very hard this time as she constantly moans about her pregnancy and how hard things are and I find it quite insensitive. I try not to let it get to me but I always feel so down as soon as I’ve seen her!

How many children do you have? Were they all via ivf?
Ivf one march 2013 BFN
Ivf two July 2013 BFN
Ivf three Sept 2014 all destroyed
Ivf four Oct 2015 BFP...CP
Ivf five April 2016 BFN
Ivf six Aug 2016 off to Czech! BFN
Ivf seven Dec 2016 BFP!!! Miracles happen!

Hangerl
Posts: 21
Joined: Sun Mar 17, 2019 12:45 am

Re: Aug 2019 - Between Cycles

#12 Post by Hangerl » Sat Sep 14, 2019 7:13 pm

Hi

I have one son (11 years old) my little miracle. Husband has low sperm count and has a translocation gene. I was having reoccurring miscarriages. We were lucky enough to fall pregnant naturally while on the waiting list for IVF. Since then I had a couple of miscarriages and some treatment on NHS for blocked tubes but because I already had a child they wouldn’t offer me IVF treatment. We started our journey with CARE Manchester two years ago but by then my eggs weren’t viable and we needed to go down the donor egg route. We had a successful treatment and then miscarried. They have since discovered I have killer K cells ( kills off all embryos) and hopefully steroid and blood thinning injections will help.

Access fertility is a plan that you can get money back if treatment is unsuccessful. We are on access plan for diner eggs so by paying a lump sum, we get 2 full rounds of IVF with ICIS. If we are unsuccessful after this then we get 50% of our money back. I know we had to pay the large amount upfront but it’s nice having the security that we get some back. There are other plans available but you do need to meet the criteria. It was care who told us about it.

I totally understand how you feel. I was the first one to have a baby out of all my friends and over the years I’ve had to watch them have their 2nd, 3rd and in some cases 4th. Then the questions when are you going to give Rhys a sibling? You must give him a sibling or he will be lonely? This made me feel even more guilty. Then there is family members who know about the difficulties that say at least you have one! I should think myself lucky and think of those that don’t have any. Of course I know how lucky I am but that doesn’t take away the burning need to have another one.

Keeping busy has definitely helped over the years. I am a school teacher so the job keeps me busy and of course looking after my son keeps you focused.

Have you tried talking to your friend surely she will understand especially if she’s been through the IVF journey.

Take care, keep strong for your daughter and I am always here to talk to, I certainly have found that helpful over the years.

Lisa x

BethR1989
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Aug 07, 2019 8:35 am

Re: Aug 2019 - Between Cycles

#13 Post by BethR1989 » Sun Sep 15, 2019 12:23 pm

Hi Lisa, that's ok sorry I've been a bit delayed in my responses too what with being away and busy. Ah Im so glad u did get away in the end! :D love muddy camping trips it all adds to the experience! haha hope your settling back into work ok and yes we've had our appointment now. Our consultant has considered the sperm could be an issue with my husband being older and it's possible that with having to bring my EC forward my lining wasn't as thick as they usually like but based on one attempt it's not enough to indicate any major problems atm so has advised we try again and that it could just simply just have been more luck then anything else. We could have tried again straight away this month but tbh I didn't feel ready and felt i just wanted a little more time (which is strange as I was so eager before lol) so we are planning to try again in October :) how is everything going with you, I take it your off the pill now so your FET won't be long either now?

Hi Jasper1 and welcome ❤ huge congrats on your successfull IVF with your baby girl! That's amazing! x yeah IVF is soooo expensive! Completely understand you having to wait to save up, it must be frustrating. I guess though it does give you chance to recover emotionally and take some time out for yourselves as IVF is such a emotional rollercoaster. Totally agree with Lisa, the access programmes are a really good option to consider as at least you do get some money back if the cycle is unsuccessful which like she said you can then put towards your next treatment. We are going through access but based on my age etc. we went with the multi 2x cycle package so we dont get a refund with our one but if we end up needing both cycles will still save a large amount compared to if we did it per cycle. CARE told us about it too here is the link to their website, its defo worth considering i think on your next try :)

https://www.accessfertility.com

I kinda wish we'd gone for the refund one myself now, i think we will if we have to go again. Wow so you had to travel to the Czech Republic for your successfull IVF that couldn't have been easy! There is quite an age difference
Between me and my husband (he is 56 and I'm 30). He had a vesectomy many years ago before we met so IVF with ICSI is the only option for us. He has 2 children from a previous marriage (all grown up now and not via IVF), I have none and have never been pregnant before so for me this will be my first, I've only just gone through my first attempt so I am still pretty new to the IVF game but totally understand how hard the waiting and the limbo is inbetween xxx don't feel guilty about feeling down when you see your friend it's only natural, all my friends have 2 children or more natrally without IVF and atm I'm the only one with no children so I'm also finding it hard sometimes when I'm around them. Its hard as well as they dont really understand how much is involved in IVF either. Yes, maybe you should talk to your friend about how you feel, if you are close and especially if she's been through this herself I think she will understand xxx best advice I can give is keep busy like Lisa said get your mind off it whilst your waiting and enjoy life and treat it as a break and chance to relax xxx here if u ever wanna chat xx ❤❤

Hangerl
Posts: 21
Joined: Sun Mar 17, 2019 12:45 am

Re: Aug 2019 - Between Cycles

#14 Post by Hangerl » Thu Sep 19, 2019 7:59 am

Hi Beth

It’s good to hear from you and I’m glad you’ve had a good rest. I hope you enjoyed your holiday and the weather was nice for you. I’m glad you had a positive meeting with your consultant and it’s good to know that you can go again when you’re ready. I think you are doing the right thing waiting, you got to listen to your body. It’s time to enjoy yourself and October will be here before you know it. Apart of me wishes I had waiting the extra month now but hindsight is a wonderful thing!

Yes I have started treatment now, in fact my ET is in Tuesday. The frozen cycle has been a lot quicker than last time and my body seems to be “doing what it should” this time, no delays which is good. The progynova has made me feel sicker this time around but that could be because of the mix of the Steriods. I started my pessaries this morning along with doubling my steriod dose as well as blood thinning injection. I am feeling a little overwhelmed this morning with it all and have already been I tears twice - all before 8am! I’m trying to stay positive and pray it will all be worth it.

Jasper - hope you are doing well and enjoying your little princess.

Take care ladies

Lisa x

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