So sad after failed IVF

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Roisin81
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Nov 27, 2019 6:33 pm

So sad after failed IVF

#1 Post by Roisin81 » Mon Dec 16, 2019 6:47 pm

We found out four days ago that our first round of ICSI wasn't successful. I feel so sad, but also angry - we were messed around a lot by doctors which meant it took a long time for us to get treatment. How did other people move on from a failed attempt? How did people find positivity to move on with the next steps? My husband seems to have been upset for a day, and has then managed to move on, and think positively about what we do next - I feel like I'm just stuck in sadness.

TALbear
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu Dec 19, 2019 8:01 am

Re: So sad after failed IVF

#2 Post by TALbear » Fri Dec 20, 2019 11:13 pm

Hi Roisin81,

I’m sorry to hear about your BFN. I had mine early September and my first signs were some bleeding 3 days before the test day. This cycle took 2 years to get to, from the doctors sending us for tests to finally starting ivf. My doctor initially lost our forms that we had to fill in, I kept telling her I’ve not heard from the hospital and she said just wait as it takes at least 3 months to be referred to hospital. Eventually I booked in to see her again And she realised nothing was on my records. Her comment? ‘All I can say is sorry, I recall filling in the form for you, but I can’t find it anywhere!’. My friends who are going through ivf all have similar stories, so you are defo not alone.

I totally understand where you are coming from and the world seems so unfair. I think it took me 2 weeks to get to a better place and keeping busy really helps. My niece came over to stay with us, so I tended to spend my free time with her.

Try and see if you can get your post ivf consultation as soon as possible. The consultant will talk through the cycle, discuss where the weakness were and suggest what they would do differently in the next cycle. This meeting helped me make plans and to put the past behind me.

I hope you get there soon.

Natashacolette
Posts: 5
Joined: Sat Oct 12, 2019 9:54 pm

Re: So sad after failed IVF

#3 Post by Natashacolette » Sun Dec 22, 2019 5:22 pm

We’ve also had failed ICSI earlier this month (Abnormal fertilisation) and the doctor pretty much said if my egg fertilised abnormal once, chance are it’ll be the same again....
He’s give me a 2% chance of it working, I was wondering if anyone has had a failed ICSI and tried again with success?
Feel very down about it all and trying to come to terms with egg donation being the only way forward.

TALbear
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu Dec 19, 2019 8:01 am

Re: So sad after failed IVF

#4 Post by TALbear » Sun Dec 22, 2019 11:42 pm

Hi Natahacollette,

Sorry to hear of ur failed cycle too. Our was the other way round, I had 2 eggs which fertilised but they never got to blastocyst.

Going through all this has defo made me think that I would want to help others by donation as some waiting lists can be long, especially with ethnic minorities.

We are now going through the donation route and you can choose to characteristic and features which match yourself as close as possible. You will still be carrying the little one and he/she I’m sure will feel totally yours.

Good luck with your journey!

Natashacolette
Posts: 5
Joined: Sat Oct 12, 2019 9:54 pm

Re: So sad after failed IVF

#5 Post by Natashacolette » Wed Feb 05, 2020 11:04 pm

So sorry I’ve only just noticed I had a reply 🤦🏽‍♀️
Hope it’s all going well for you, any updates?
I got a promotion at work so that’s kept my head busy for last two months but need to have a good think on our next move, we potentially have 2 more shots so thinking of going through with my own eggs one more time and if it fails again then it’s big decision time x

Liag1980
Posts: 8
Joined: Fri Feb 14, 2020 5:49 pm

Re: So sad after failed IVF

#6 Post by Liag1980 » Sat Feb 22, 2020 11:44 pm

Hi there

I know this is an older post, however I have also just experienced a failed first ivf. It hit me hard. I took a week off work for the egg retrieval and transfer but I started spotting about 6 days after transfer then 3 days before my test date I started bleeding heavily. I felt like a complete failure. I had to take a further 2 weeks off work because my head and emotions were all over the place.

I have my follow up appt with the consultant next week so I can find out what the doctor thinks. I think they would change my slim meds.

I couldn’t get any help from the nhs (they messed me about and them told me I was too old) so financed the first cycle myself. Now need to find another £7k for the next one.

Xx

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