May/June 2019

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shiru
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Re: May/June 2019

#576 Post by shiru » Thu Sep 12, 2019 1:43 pm

Hey Kellie
Although I've not written to you I've been praying for you. Glad you had egg collection but I am so sorry it didn't go well. I was worried about you especially with the logistics. Thinking of you and hoping the pain goes quickly. You need lots of tic.. Is hubby with you today? Hope so.

Praying that those eggs develop and transfer goes well

Sorry I've been busy trying to sort out interviews child care etc but there hasn't been a day when I've not wondered how you are and said a prayer. I'm here if you need me. Sending you a big hug

mollymartha
Posts: 405
Joined: Sun Dec 09, 2018 11:39 am

Re: May/June 2019

#577 Post by mollymartha » Thu Sep 12, 2019 5:41 pm

heya Kelly plese don't worry about posting or writing here until you feel well enough just fully concentrate on sleeping resting and healing yourself, take your time oh dear im so sorry it didn't go well must be bad if you needed morphine! I had no pain at all after my ec I felt literally nothing and went to work that night I know I was very very lucky to have it so easy im so sorry you are in such a bad way hope the clinic looked after you fully and didn't try to send you home alone on drugs and after a sedation as shiru says we are worried about you and you trying to cope you have had such a busy time atm its a lot of stress on you I do hope you are resting and recovering at home taking it easy lets all hope you have some lovely embryos to put back and some to freeze too! hope you haven't go to take that awful litinus again and they can provide an alternative instead hope you get a time and date for et and that will go really well good luck if its tomorrow after all so so excited for you if it is but i know doesnt give you long to recover! hope your clinic are being professional and supportive and not just letting you struggle on your own remember you pay all that money they should provide decent care hope you feel much better soon sorry you feel so ill we are all here for you when you are ready and well enough to talk take ity easy sleep as much as you can

shiru hope you aren't overdoing it sounds very busy for you hope ineterviews go well and Ajabu wil settle fine in nursery im sure he will and have great fun! think about it this way when hes at nursery and then hes home it will make your mummy and son times together even more precious and special to enjoy and share wow that's absolutely amazing news you felt ready to ask the clinic about your donors huge milestone for you isn't it very hard and emotional, you are very brave for feeling able to move forward great news your sperm donor is stil available and has produced the 2 babies! great news ah wow even better your egg donor is so happy and willing to donate to you again im so so relieved and thrilled for you, yes November may seem a long way off yet to possibly start but we are almost halfway through September already so as you are so busy that time will fly by im sure! no I totally see why you are opting for the donors again as before rather than an embryo donation you have ben given this choice, if it were that one or neither of your donors were not still available then ok you may think do the embryo donation maybe instead but you have been given this choice you may regret it if you don't take it it has been sent to you im sure I always think if its meant to be it wil be and as both you donors are still available it gives you that option im glad you have the 2 choices though huge uge decisions for you we are always here to listen and walk with you through this journey its just the start of your new chapter here please keep hoping of that dream of a healthy baby that's all any of us want and dream of its still definitely every possible you can achieve it

you may not want to reda the next bit if you are feeling upset or wobbly


had the first Doppler done 2 weeks ago at 16 weeks +5 the midwife got the heartbeat up straight away my phone doesn't have a camera so I couldnt record it due to my anxiety she saw me again last Thursday I took my friend to record it for me, she kept kicking the midwife (baby not my friend! lol) I cant feel any kicks at all but the midwife said every time there was a kick it we heard it! was a beautiful magical moment and so pleased my friend recorded it really really special to hear her the midwife did promise to see me weekly for the Doppler but had no free slots this week which has added to my anxiety I had a private scan last Saturday I just booked a quick basic scan but the scanner guy was so lovely and kind he was very thorough checked everything and did it in 4d! total surprise to see really didn't expect that! it was so so clear you could see her face arms legs everything so clear have to say shes the most incredible beautiful miracle ive ever seen he did me loads of pictures and 3 videos she is so loved and wanted if If if I get that far I have the midwife and the nhs 20 week scan next week, Its 19 weeks tomorrow im still extremely anxious just 24/7 dread still a lot of anxiety I worry everyday I haven't had any movement at all yet which realy worries me its an anterior placenta so they said it cushions it and movements are later and not as obvious etc I just worry about every single thing and keep imagining all the worst things happening at any point all I can do is take it a day at a time same as all of us hey x
me : single lady 36 - donor sperm

iui natural cycle jan 19 BFN
iui natural cycle feb 19 BFN
iui natural cycle feb 19 BFN

ivf#1 stimmed for 8 days, EC 17/05 12 eggs 10 fertilised 7 blastocysts ET 22/05 1 top grade blast 6 frozen blasts OTD 03/06

mollymartha
Posts: 405
Joined: Sun Dec 09, 2018 11:39 am

Re: May/June 2019

#578 Post by mollymartha » Fri Sep 13, 2019 6:27 pm

Kelly we all hope you are ok, I k now you cant reply or chat atm but we are all thinking of you hope yu are ok and feeling much better after ec I truly hope you had some lovely embryos to transfer back and freeze we are all here to listen when you are well enough and ready take it easy sleep lots drink lots of water sleep as much as you can! x
me : single lady 36 - donor sperm

iui natural cycle jan 19 BFN
iui natural cycle feb 19 BFN
iui natural cycle feb 19 BFN

ivf#1 stimmed for 8 days, EC 17/05 12 eggs 10 fertilised 7 blastocysts ET 22/05 1 top grade blast 6 frozen blasts OTD 03/06

Kelly1982
Posts: 265
Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2016 7:58 pm
Location: West London

Re: May/June 2019

#579 Post by Kelly1982 » Sat Sep 14, 2019 8:07 am

Hi my darling Shiru and Mollymartha how are the two of you. Am so sorry I am not so great at the minute. Have a lot on my mind as I write. I actually need your advice. I called the hospital yesterday and they said one egg is developing but if any change they will let me know. Now am in the middle. I asked them on the egg Collection day if possible to freeze the egg and do another cycle. The doctor then said normally they won’t freeze unless it’s a good quality. So what shall I do. I just think hence it’s only one if it even last to Tuesday the transfer date I would like them to freeze it then I can cycle again. What do you guys suggest ?!

I must add she said if none are good this cycle won’t count. Can I refuse for them to transfer or if I do what will happen ?! With all the vitamins I took etc only one egg hay !! This process is so awful I tell you.

Happy weekend to both of you 😘 I think of the two of you a lot. I hope with grace of God you are both doing great much love
Last edited by Kelly1982 on Sat Sep 14, 2019 4:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
(ICSI cycle July/August 2016) OTD 10.08.2016 BFP
Baby boy born March 2017
Low sperm c hubby
ICSI fresh cycle May ??

shiru
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Re: May/June 2019

#580 Post by shiru » Sun Sep 15, 2019 12:21 am

Kelly you are in my thoughts..and I can feel your anxiety. Wish we could take it all away. Here to listen any time.


im not sure I know enough about freezing and refusing to transfer..i read on another thread this week a similar question but can't remember where.. Let me see if I can remember..one the reasons they tend not to recommend you freeze a bad quality egg is it might not survive thawing and after going through weeks of medication and to not having anything to transfer would be devastating. Why not ask the question on the general forum and see whether other ladies can share their experiences. I would also suggest that you call clinic on Monday and ask more questions so you are prepared. We pay lots of money and the clinics should give us all the facts so we are fully informed and to help in decision making.

May I ask why you don't feel ready to transfer on Tuesday? Is it that you don't feel 100% physically? Oh you've got lots to chew on......IVF is such a roller coaster of emotional. You are doing great Kelly. Sending you a hug

mollymartha
Posts: 405
Joined: Sun Dec 09, 2018 11:39 am

Re: May/June 2019

#581 Post by mollymartha » Mon Sep 16, 2019 12:39 am

hiya Kelly so so sorry to hear you are struggling so much atm we are always here to listen I hope things are getting easier for you and the clinic are being supportive have you heard any more from them yet about how the egg Is doing hope it is growing well we cant offer you any medical advice we aren't experts and I wouldnt want to tell you the wrong things it has to be your decision please do ask the clinic what is best what does your husband think you should do as shiru says we pay so much money they are there to advise you at every step dont struggle making big decisions alone they are supposed to help you and be the experts we have to trust them as much as we can and be guided by what they say shiru is right they should know their stuff and be able to explain things and help you yes I have heard the same as shiru they would only free a good quality embryo if they freeze bad quality ones they may not defrost well personally and this is just me I would put it back I think it only tyakes the only egg and its still worth atry you never know this could be the time it works you just never know ive heard of ladies putting back the one and only egg from a cycle and it worked it only takes one and its quality not quantity it may be a few months before you can cycle again after everything you have just been through with the drugs and stress atleast at the end of it you get one embryo to put back that's a chance now without you having to wit a while its totally your decision please don't be influenced by us I have no medical knowledge it has to be your choice and you never even know if you put one back it could still naturally split and get twins! please just try to take it a day at a time its all an of us can do and the only way I can cope! please ask your clinic for advice they really are the best ones to guide you they do this day in day out I hope all goes well and you get a lovely embryo to transfer Tuesday yes ivf is the hardest toughest struggle isn't it x
me : single lady 36 - donor sperm

iui natural cycle jan 19 BFN
iui natural cycle feb 19 BFN
iui natural cycle feb 19 BFN

ivf#1 stimmed for 8 days, EC 17/05 12 eggs 10 fertilised 7 blastocysts ET 22/05 1 top grade blast 6 frozen blasts OTD 03/06

Kelly1982
Posts: 265
Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2016 7:58 pm
Location: West London

Re: May/June 2019

#582 Post by Kelly1982 » Mon Sep 16, 2019 11:47 am

Hi Shiru & Mollymartha Thankyou so much for always making me feel like there is hope even when you don’t feel it. I have had few stressed days but I can only be hopeful. Am waiting to hear from the hospital if no phone call then I guess the one embryo still keeping strong for transfer tomor. Shiru yes they said they only free if the embryo is good quality but ofcourse why will they freeze it if it’s good ? So it will be what it will be. Xx
I hope the two of you are ok. Am wishing you both a great week 😘
(ICSI cycle July/August 2016) OTD 10.08.2016 BFP
Baby boy born March 2017
Low sperm c hubby
ICSI fresh cycle May ??

shiru
Posts: 661
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Re: May/June 2019

#583 Post by shiru » Mon Sep 16, 2019 12:47 pm

Kelly I was a little confused that you wanted to freeze🤔🤔..may be it's the way I read your message. It will be well and hang onto hope that God that he's helped your egg develop as it should be a d it will be ready for transfer tomorrow. As the hospital hasn't rang it sounds like there's no problem and transfer is tomorrow. We know the stress is high especially today stay positive. Hope you managed to find a way of hubby taking you to the hospital tomorrow for transfer. Praying and thinking of you x

Molly Martha hope you are well and looking forward to the kicks. It's awesome when they happen. I guess there doesn't seem to be any relief for your anxiety. Just deal with 1 day at a time. Concern yourself about today and get through to tine to sleep and you can tick the day as I got through it. It's not easy x

Kelly1982
Posts: 265
Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2016 7:58 pm
Location: West London

Re: May/June 2019

#584 Post by Kelly1982 » Mon Sep 16, 2019 9:13 pm

Shiru how nice to hear from you. How are you ? And how is your son doing with nursery etc. Hope all is good with you xx yes I wanted to freeze then cycle again to get more eggs so that I can only concentrate on frozen cycle. But now i have no choice but to wait for tomor x. Yes I am grateful for the egg that is still developing and I pray no phone call tomor morning. I know I should be grateful to even have one egg still going some don’t even get that chance. Its just that I had so much high hopes this time as I tried to do everything right. In this process no matter how you do things by the book it doesn’t guarantee success. I need to learn to manage disappointment better.

May God look after you and your family x goodnight 🌹
(ICSI cycle July/August 2016) OTD 10.08.2016 BFP
Baby boy born March 2017
Low sperm c hubby
ICSI fresh cycle May ??

shiru
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Re: May/June 2019

#585 Post by shiru » Mon Sep 16, 2019 11:10 pm

Kelly it will be well tomorrow. If there were doubts the hospital would have called you today to discuss. Now I understand why you wanted to freeze. But as the hospital hasn't given you this choice go in tomorrow and transfer and let God do the rest. As Molly says it's the quality not quantity and it only takes 1 egg not 20. Your body developed the number of eggs it could develop so it's not that you didn't do something you should have done.

My little one starts nursery on Thursday. The nursery I chose spaces out the new kids so I guess they are not too overwhelmed themselves..it suits me but I'm not ready for him to start. I know it sounds weird but he's my little friend now. We do everything together 24/7 & now someone else is gonna take away some of that time away. I know it's a stage in life just like everything else but believe it or not I'm anxious. Also the nursery is term time only so not sure what I'm going to do when I get a job!!!

Enough about me. I'm with you in prayers tomorrow..xx

Kelly1982
Posts: 265
Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2016 7:58 pm
Location: West London

Re: May/June 2019

#586 Post by Kelly1982 » Tue Sep 17, 2019 7:38 am

Morning Shiru & Mollymartha so sorry to bring sad news. The embryo didn’t survive today. Now I ask them why didn’t they consider transferring it yesterday on the 4th day ? They said they prefer it to go to blastocyst stage. Sad stressed and confused. Wish I knew how to cope with such a disappointment
(ICSI cycle July/August 2016) OTD 10.08.2016 BFP
Baby boy born March 2017
Low sperm c hubby
ICSI fresh cycle May ??

Kelly1982
Posts: 265
Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2016 7:58 pm
Location: West London

Re: May/June 2019

#587 Post by Kelly1982 » Tue Sep 17, 2019 7:57 am

Shiru & Mollymartha. Hence I have had three failed trials do you think there are test they should do find out why ?! Am just not happy with them sending me another protocol without finding out the course of the issue ! What do you both advice me please ?!
(ICSI cycle July/August 2016) OTD 10.08.2016 BFP
Baby boy born March 2017
Low sperm c hubby
ICSI fresh cycle May ??

shiru
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Re: May/June 2019

#588 Post by shiru » Tue Sep 17, 2019 9:43 pm

Dear Kelly I was so sad to read your news. I slept with a good feeling for you and was so sad to read your message this morning. I wish I had your number I would have called you..i actually felt such pain for you that I cried as I read the 1st sentence. First of all I want you to realise the embryo not thawing properly has nothing to do with you not having done things properly. I felt like it was me who had just heard those news. I think it's the same with Care they prefer blastocyst..i know they gave me a reason previously but I cannot remember what it was.

My suggestion for now would be look after yourself and let the news sink in. Cuddle your little boy even more and hubby too (you are in this journey together). Keep asking for to guide you and give you wisdom to know what next. Ask God to fill your heart with peace despite the heart ache and disappointment. Don't stop believing in God because he knows everything and he knows why this happened. I'm not an expert but after 3 failed ivfs there may some tests they could do on you. I think Teresa whose twins didn't make it had had quite a few failed cycles. I can't remember whether she had other test done or not. (I cycled with a lady who waited for 17 years for her miracle. In the end she used donated eggs after much fights within her..).

But we pay so much for the treatment the doctors should be able to advice us what the next course of action is. But don't forget they remind us often that there are no guarantees but we know we believe in a mighty God and he gave you your miracle and he can do it again. Sorry for going on but please please 10000 be kind to yourself. Mollymartha and I are here whenever you need us.

For me from the start if the treatment I knew I had 2% chance of conceiving through iui but I still decided to give it a chance but it didn't work and I hadnt really got that many options as you know..

Here to support you Kelly. Sending you a big hug. Wish you were near I'd offer to meet for a coffee and chat. I know you are stressed and disappointed..erite to us any time xx♥️🌺

kaydan05
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Joined: Tue Apr 24, 2018 7:07 pm

Re: May/June 2019

#589 Post by kaydan05 » Wed Sep 18, 2019 8:12 pm

Hi ladies. I know I keep dipping in and out of the chats! I've been so busy lately with the redecorating (yay its finally started!) And just feeling so tired and exhausted all the time. We had our 20 week scan today and both babies look great, growing great and on schedule. No issues found during the scan. Also found out the genders........both boys!!!! :shock: we were really hoping for one each and we were a little disappointed for a split second on hearing the news and I feel so guilty for not having the reaction I wished I had. I really didnt think I'd be disappointed but gosh gender disappointment is so real. I know that probably sounds selfish! However we are still over the moon that both boys are doing good. And I've come round to it now.

Hope you ladies are doing good!! Xx
2 natural pregnancies - miscarriage 👼👼
2 cycles ivf/icsi - 1 failed, 1 miscarriage 👼
3rd cycle - transfer 21st May, embies x 2 = BFP
Early scan = 2 heartbeats!! 👶🏽👶🏽

Natalie1471
Posts: 185
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Re: May/June 2019

#590 Post by Natalie1471 » Fri Sep 20, 2019 11:09 am

Hi there. I
I've got 6 frozen embryos and I've rang up today to see what happens now that we are ready to try again and they have sent me a letter on the portal with an appointment for a frozen Embryo replacement review. Does anyone know what that involves

shiru
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Re: May/June 2019

#591 Post by shiru » Fri Sep 20, 2019 1:47 pm

Hi Kelly and Mollymartha
Just wanted to check how you both ladies are doing. Mollymartha haven't heard from you much this week but I understand you must be worn out being back to work and pregnant..hope the anxiety is easing.

Kelly hope you are being kindest to yourself and having lots of cuddles with your boys. Thinking of you
Xx

Kelly1982
Posts: 265
Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2016 7:58 pm
Location: West London

Re: May/June 2019

#592 Post by Kelly1982 » Sat Sep 21, 2019 9:20 am

Morning Shiru & Mollymartha. I hope the two of you are ok. As short mentioned I hope Molly you are taking it easy at work. And now you are more relaxed and happy. Am still quite sad and stressed out. I just feel helpless some days. I hope with time this will pass xx thank you for the two of you for being so kind to me. Am so grateful xx Yes I feel blessed for my boy for real. He is everything to me. I could haven’t love anything more than I do him I tell you. Just sad I can’t give him a sibling just yet !! Shirt have you ever thought of trying clinic abroad ? wishing you both a great weekend 😘🌹🙏🏻

Yes I do think of the two of you everyday Infact.
(ICSI cycle July/August 2016) OTD 10.08.2016 BFP
Baby boy born March 2017
Low sperm c hubby
ICSI fresh cycle May ??

Kelly1982
Posts: 265
Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2016 7:58 pm
Location: West London

Re: May/June 2019

#593 Post by Kelly1982 » Sat Sep 21, 2019 9:23 am

Kaydan please be happy. You don’t know how lucky you are. Speaking for my self here if God could give me all boys I will still count my lucky star. Kids are such a blessing. Am so happy for you. Just enjoy and thank God you are that lucky. Wishing you all the best 🙏🏻
(ICSI cycle July/August 2016) OTD 10.08.2016 BFP
Baby boy born March 2017
Low sperm c hubby
ICSI fresh cycle May ??

Kelly1982
Posts: 265
Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2016 7:58 pm
Location: West London

Re: May/June 2019

#594 Post by Kelly1982 » Sat Sep 21, 2019 8:25 pm

Hi ladies. My son had just made my evening. He said 100 out of no where. So I decided to write down 10 to hundred. To my surprise he can count in 10s to 100. Wow this kids knows more than we think. He really cheer me up I tell you. He seems to love to count and read. Bless the lil thing. I love him soo much. 😘at 2years old I think he is doing well. I hope he will continue that way. Greetings my people. I miss the two of you
(ICSI cycle July/August 2016) OTD 10.08.2016 BFP
Baby boy born March 2017
Low sperm c hubby
ICSI fresh cycle May ??

shiru
Posts: 661
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Re: May/June 2019

#595 Post by shiru » Sat Sep 21, 2019 10:14 pm

Hey Kelly
Great to hear fom you Kelly. I hear you about the sadness I still find it hard too..i can't believe I had a miscarriage. You will have your happy ending. I know you will because God is always on your side. As I said please please be kind to yourself.

Your boy is so clever. We don't realise how much they are learning. At this age they are like sponges..hes listening to everything he's hearing. Ajabu counts to 20. Sometimes he misses all the odd numbers and I don't know how he does it..he makes me cry often with some of the things he comes out with!!

Great weekend to you too x

Mollymartha. Hope you are well🤗 x

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